End the week with a cartoon: “Another bacon-flavored beer”

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Where do all the virgins come from?

Islam promises men the reward of 72 virgins in heaven. This is revolting and absurd on so many levels.

Women are promised nothing, heaven is a men’s club where women are mere objects for men’s pleasure. Is that what men dream of? Is that a reward?

Where do these virgins come from? How do you find 72 times more virgins than all the men? Is god stocking up on them in heaven? Where do the women go after death if they were not virgins? Do they go to heaven too? What do they do there?

If a women dies a virgin, does she get added to the hoard? Don’t die a virgin, you will become a prize!

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Start the week with a quote: Tracie Harris

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Jesus, the cruel joke

Jesus is central to christian belief. Without him you go to heaven. And to hell with everyone else. Basically, it seems you go to heaven if you personally, explicitly accept Jesus as your savior.

What about the billions of pre-christ people living since prehistoric times? Even if you believe the earth is only a few thousand years old, that still adds up to a lot of people. Do they all go to hell? Or do they get a free « get out of jail » card because Jesus had not appeared yet? If they get to go to heaven « for free », why did Jesus come at all? If he hadn’t everyone would go to heaven…

So, just people who have lived and who live since Jesus. What about the vast majority of people who are not christians? Do they all go to hell? That is close to 70% of the world population that is condemned.

What is Jesus doing to save them? Why is Jesus not coming back every week to show off his miracles and give these people a chance to be saved? He came once, so it must be allowed.

It is the same problem with every « unique, true religion » excluding everyone else. That’s a lot of people to exclude…

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End the week with a cartoon: “No, I’m pretty sure it’s supposed to be Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh.”

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BBC News – UK Suicide Bombers go on Strike (anyone know the original source?)

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a  three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers’ union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote.

General Secretary Abdullah  Amir told the press, “Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don’t ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth” Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, “I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.

They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It’s a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don’t like cutting benefits but I’d hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won’t be able to blow themselves up.

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages. This is true, so watch it !

Start the week with a quote: Doug Stanhope

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End the week with a cartoon: “…but your marriage isn’t recognized in 13 states.”

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Virgin birth, mhhh, could there be another explanation?

Jennifer has been fooling around with her boyfriend and gets pregnant. She proclaims that she is a virgin and the pregnancy must be a miracle. Do you believe her?

How many virgin births have been proven in all of history? None. How many young girls have lied after having gotten in trouble? Quite a few.

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Which religion?

Olaf worships Odin. Just like everyone else in eleventh century Sweden. Bob worships Jesus. Just like everyone else in 20th century Alabama.

There is no doubt in your mind that your god, the one taught to you by your parents and worshipped by all your neighbours, is the one and only.

Out of hundreds or thousands of religions throughout time and around the world, only yours is true. Pretty lucky.

God chose one place, in one time, to reveal himself, and let everyone else, around the world and throughout time, worship false idols.

Talk about being in the right place at the right time!

How can this be? How can an actual god choose to reveal himself to a lonely tribe somewhere, sometime, in such an ambiguous way as to leave the world squabbling, if not out right killing each other, over who is right?

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